April 9, 2026
Suddenly, the thought just showed up. It just came into your head and now it won’t disappear. Maybe it was violent, sexual, or blasphemous. Maybe it targeted your relationship, your health, your safety, your family, or your identity. Now it won’t go away, and you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Maybe you’ve […]
Suddenly, the thought just showed up. It just came into your head and now it won’t disappear. Maybe it was violent, sexual, or blasphemous. Maybe it targeted your relationship, your health, your safety, your family, or your identity. Now it won’t go away, and you haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Maybe you’ve tried to push it away, figure it out, research it, or analyze what it means. But still, it relents. Leaving you wondering, “Why can’t I get rid of this thought?” If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing to fear. Let’s break down what’s going on!
What is an intrusive thought?
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, automatic thoughts or images that pop into your head. Research shows that at least 80-88% of people experience bad, unwanted thoughts… but I suspect the number to be higher. But the issue is not with having the thoughts, it is with how someone reacts to the thought. For some people, the thoughts might pass by like background noise, while for others, it sticks. This stickiness is what can cause intense discomfort, anxiety, and fear. Some examples of intrusive thoughts might be:
“What if I hurt someone?”
“What if I don’t really love my partner?”
“What if I lose control?”
“What if I’m a bad person?”
“What if I have a serious illness?”
“Why did I think that? What does that mean about me?”
Often, these thoughts might feel contradictory to your personal values and seem to attack topics you really care about- being a good person, your relationship, your health, etc. Because of this, your brain registers these thoughts as a threat and the cycle begins.
Having intrusive thoughts does not mean:
It means you have a human brain. The human brain has around 6,000 to 7,000 separate thoughts a day, and we don’t pay attention to many of them. Intrusive thoughts are no different! Our brains are incredibly imaginative and creative; the thoughts don’t need to have any meaning.
The Reason You Can’t Stop Thinking About It
The short answer? The more you try not to think about something, the more you think about it. Let’s use the example of the pink elephant.
At this moment, I want you to sit and attempt NOT to think about a pink elephant. Really use all of your effort. Do not think about that elephant.
What happened? Are you thinking about it?
When we try to not think about a thought, the brain consistently monitors for it to make sure it is gone, which only brings it back more. As emotion attaches to the thought, the brain begins to register it as important or a threat, thus bringing it up even more. Think of it as if your brain is moving this thought to the “important” file now, causing you to check in on the thought frequently.
The OCD Cycle
For many people, persistent intrusive thoughts are a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). A core component of keeping the thought alive is due to the OCD Cycle.
At the beginning of the cycle is an obsession, intrusive thought, or worry. When this happens, anxiety increases. To get rid of the discomfort, the person engages in a compulsion- avoidance, rumination, checking, reassurance, etc. And temporarily, they do get relief. However, the brain registers this response to the thought as deeming it important. And, BAM, the thought comes back stronger again. Sometimes it comes back within seconds. Sometimes in days. Sometimes not for months. But it does return, and it becomes stronger and stronger the more the person tries to do compulsions to get rid of it.
The goal is not to get rid of the thought itself. The thought is not what is keeping the cycle alive, the response is. While this can seem daunting and frustrating to people who just want the thought to disappear, it truly leads to more long term relief.
Almost everyone I work with says this.
“This thought feels real.”
“This one feels like it means something about me.”
“This feels too important to dismiss.”
“But what if it isn’t OCD- are you sure?”
That’s because intrusive thoughts target what you care about most.
If you value kindness, you might get violent thoughts.
If you value faith, you might get blasphemous thoughts.
If you value your relationship, you might have doubts about it.
The brain doesn’t attack what you don’t care about. It attacks what matters. The intensity of your distress says far more about your values than the content of the thought ever could. And not worrying about these thoughts anymore doesn’t change your core values. You don’t need to ruminate, figure it out, or check it to prove that it is of value to you. It’s a trick that OCD does to keep you under its control.
If you can’t force the thought away, what do you do? The answer might feel counterintuitive, but you stop trying to control it. That doesn’t mean you like it or agree with it. Rather, just that you aren’t going to keep fighting with your brain.
This idea is central to Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), the gold-standard treatment for OCD. In ERP, you learn to live with the thoughts, resist compulsions, manage discomfort, and learn that the thought isn’t dangerous. Over time, the thought loses power because you stopped treating it like an emergency. ERP empowers people to take back control in their lives instead of letting their thoughts control them.
If intrusive thoughts are:
It may be time to seek specialized treatment. Talk therapy that focuses on analyzing the thought can unintentionally reinforce it. Evidence-based treatments like ERP are specifically designed for this cycle.
If you’re exhausted from battling intrusive thoughts and feeling stuck in the anxiety spiral, specialized support can make a profound difference. With the right approach, intrusive thoughts become background noise instead of front-page headlines in your mind.
If you’re ready to stop trying to “figure out” the thought and start learning how to respond to it differently, reach out to schedule a consultation.
You don’t have to keep living in this cycle.
